The Magic is Gone

It's September, that "magical" time of year when all major automakers unveil their new vehicles amidst a flurry of fanfare and press releases. Well...that's how it used to be anyway. Automakers are unleashing vehicles earlier and earlier every year, so much so that it's becoming extremely difficult to keep track of model years. The lines have blurred, for sure, and in some ways, so has my perception of the auto industry.

Things used to be very cool when the new models came out. When I was growing up (for the most part, in the 1970's and 1980's) the new model year was something pretty special. We all used to huddle around the new car issues of Car and Driver and Motor Trend in the school library. Most of the time that was our first glimpses of the new models; until then we had no clue as to what everything would look like. There was never even a thought in the back of our minds that there would be an end to the Camaro and Firebird, and that the Mustang would have a close call too. The "Euro" look was becoming hot. Turbocharging equalled performance. American cars still ruled the roost. And like clockwork, the new model year started in September without deviation.

And I'm sure you've heard the stories about how things were back in the 1950's, but if not let me attempt to recapture the spirit of the era. The post-WWII 1950's brought about a grandiose aura to the auto industry. And never was that more apparent than at traditional September unveilings of the new cars for that particular model year. My dad relayed quite a bit to me about what happened: the late-night covered trucks that delivered the new models to the dealerships; the gigantic cloths that draped the vehicles, adding to the mystery; the throngs of people crowding to catch a glimpse, and trying to guess what was underneath the shroud; and finally, the much-awaited unveiling to applause and reviews.

Isn't that what life is all about? A little mystery goes a long way, and that's something that just about everyone has forgotten recently, both in the auto industry and in the rest of life. It's not what you show, it's what you don't show, that counts. That's something that George Lucas has forgotten in the recent Star Wars movies, but something that M. Night Shyamalan definitely did with Signs. But those are topics for another day, even though they perfectly illustrate the point I'm trying to make. This is, after all, the Internet Age, where instant gratification is the norm. Nobody waits for anything anymore. We see spy photos of cars all the time now, and we don't even have to wait for magazines to hit the newsstand---everything is freely and readily available online even as you read this. So the automakers, ever so savvy with their marketing, play upon this by unveiling cars early.

Case in point: the '02 Thunderbird. It was a show vehicle in 1998. Why was there a 4-year wait? There were some engineering problems, sure, like all vehicles. Even after it debuted a few more problems popped up that were so obvious, you wonder what the hell was going on at Ford. I mean, come on...does logic not dictate that exposed battery terminals in the trunk, where people are going to put metal golf clubs, are an invitation for disaster? Then there is the design: it is truly homogenized by all meanings of the word. Does it appeal to everyone? Not really. Show me a 35-year-old man that is lusting after a new Thunderbird, and I'll show you a repressed human being living in the past. I hear older guys talking about the glory days of the 1955-57 T-Bird, and even those of the 1960's. The glory days for the Thunderbird, to me and to all of you, will always be the 1980's and 1990's. I cannot even fathom the thought of some connection between my '88 T-Bird Sport and that bulbous compromise of a vehicle that passes for a Thunderbird today.

And then there is the new Beetle. Sure, it's a runaway hit, not only because of the nostalgic styling but because it truly is a cool, safe vehicle that's affordable. Now it's been on the market for a few years, correct? We JUST got the turbo model, and the factory convertible is still a little ways off. Haven't heard anything about a power increase either. There is a spotty long-range plan for this car, one that should have been tightened up and implemented sooner. I'm sure that VW will sell just about every one that it builds. But that's no reason to get lazy.

Which brings us to the Cougar. Let's quickly review the history of this car, shall we?

• Sporty car
• Luxury car
• Land yacht
• Brick
• Wagon!
• Aero luxury sport coupe
• Overweight aero luxury sport coupe
• Dead
• Small FWD sport coupe
• Dead again

I smell an identity crisis, don't you? Now obviously the car has always been a sign of the times. In our case, it actually helped define the time in which it debuted. But things changed in the early 1990's---all the rules were bent, broken and rewritten in the auto industry. Suddenly, instead of being recognized as the segment leader it was, the Cougar was pushed back into the "just another car" category as trucks and SUV's became the hot tickets to profits. At that point, the Cougar stopped being special; Ford stopped dumping money into the MN12 program in the mid-1990's, and from there it languished into a long, slow death that it probably didn't deserve. Instead of trimming weight they added it instead. Nothing would lighten up that car....so Ford saw a front-drive version as the answer.

Here again there were problems from the start. After a pretty hot debut, the FWD Cougar was supposed to be joined by performance and convertible versions not long afterward. But guess what, kids? Never happened. Several last-minute attempts were made to doctor up regular Cougars and make them "special" (Zn, C2, XR, etc.), but none were really outstanding and they actually all seemed to blend into each other. The sales just kept dropping like a dress on prom night. And after 4 short and unremarkable years, that version of the Cat has now been laid to rest, courtesy of promises that were never delivered. The long-range plan either didn't exist or sucked beyond comprehension.

The FWD Cougar actually started out life as a show car in the late 1990's known as the MC2. It was known to be just a thinly-disguised version of the actual production car, and that's alright. It left things to the imagination and showed quite a bit of promise. And looking back, it was a good time for that show car because the production version was less than 18 months away. Any automaker will tell you that 18 months is now the golden rule: from concept to design to production in that amount of time means that you are doing well. Ford had a great start on that car. Too bad they fumbled the ball and let opportunities slip away.

That's not the case with the Mustang program though. Just about everything that comes out of there is damned fine, and Team Mustang makes sure every idea gets fully implemented before seeing production. Say what you want about micromanagement: the Mustang is alive and well because of a dedicated core of individuals. Every car line should be so lucky.

The 2003 model year will be the first full year without a Cougar nameplate since the mid-1960's. And so there's not much out there for me to get excited about. The Marauder is certainly refreshing, although nothing that I would buy. The '03 Cobra--well, what isn't to like! The price is a little steep for most of us, though. Honestly that's about it for the E Man for this model year. I cannot see anything redeeming coming out of Ford for quite awhile. Even Mercedes and BMW, two of my perennial favorite car companies, are showing signs of run-of-the-mill products. The car industry is in a lull right now because it's market-driven: people still want their SUV's and trucks. The next few model years for cars are looking to be pretty bland indeed.

And that's too bad, because it's September and I have money to spend. Guess the ol' T-Bird is going to be around for a little while longer. Every year I tell myself, "This is the year, Eric. This is the year that you get that new car." And every year, because I find nothing of interest to buy, I find myself a decent used Fox Cougar or Thunderbird and drive the hell out of it. Am I trying to recapture the past, or relive it in some twisted way? I suppose one could say that. But I know one thing for sure.

Until there is another rear-drive Cougar on the market, new model years don't mean a thing to me anymore. The magic is gone.

Until next time,

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