C.A.R.S. and CATS

If you haven’t heard by now, here in the United States the goverment has just officially launched the CARS (Car Allowance Rebate System), or “Cash For Clunkers” program. The terms of this program can be found here, but in a nutshell, it’s a stimulus designed to get people that have older, less fuel-efficient vehicles to trade them in on newer vehicles that attain greater fuel economy. In return, the government is giving the customers between $3500 and $4500 credit on the new car--a considerable chunk of change in any economy, but particularly tempting in this one. The whole CARS idea is generally to promote a greener environment while simultaneously helping the economy crawl from its dark recesses. A noble idea, for sure.

Now there’s a lot of politics going on with this program (as is anything these days) and there are plenty of arguments for and against it. We’re not going to delve into political rhetoric here, but in theory the U.S. government is simply taking a successful program from Europe and adopting it to the States...sort of like “American Idol” on wheels, if you will.

The problem is that the government is allowing the traded-in vehicles to get crushed. The engines must be destroyed and the rest of the vehicle gets shredded. Auto recyclers (aka “salvage yards” or “junk yards”), which have been our major source of parts for some time, are being shorted in this whole process because engines usually translate into good money. They will receive the clunker cars after the engine is destroyed but most of their profits will have already been lost. In other words, the middleman is being virtually eliminated in this instance.

Now the reason we’re bringing this up in the first place is that, indeed, nearly all of our cars qualify as “clunkers”.

That’s right. Whether you love your Fox Cougar/T-Bird or you hate it, it’s a clunker by this program’s definition.

Should we be surprised? Well...er...yes and no. Although time has been rather kind to our car’s styling and general attributes, the drivetrains were never really optimized for fuel efficiency. Back in the 1980s the only cars that got anywhere near good mileage numbers were imported Asian econoboxes that were undesirable by all except for the frugal. We are, by the very nature of our cars’ creation dates, victims of our times.

However, that doesn’t mean that the government classification is always accurate. The SEFI-equipped 5.0 V8 was suprisingly decent on fuel economy, sometimes moreso than the V6. It’s not unheard of for these cars to occasionally get 30+ MPG on the freeway, a feat yours truly has experienced several times. Turbo Coupes and turbo XR7s routinely get fuel economy that is still impressive thanks to that fuel-sipping 4-banger under the hood. And really, compared to some newer vehicles, our cars can pretty much hold their own in the numbers game, regardless of engine. So long as they’re tuned up correctly and there’s greater control of the right foot, our cars can be astonishing efficient.

But that doesn’t mean ALL of them do. What the government wants to crush is vehicles that have a lower COMBINED city/highway rating. We all know that city driving in a Fox Cougar can be kind of tough on the ol’ wallet. And to boot, the government has been revising the EPA ratings for our older vehicles, including our cars, to reflect truer numbers in the real world. This is a double whammy which unfortunately will spell doom for some of our bretheren.

And here’s the kick in the pants...we’re likely going to see a notable reduction in surviving Cougars and Thunderbirds because of the CARS program, which will then result in fewer parts being available for those that need them. People are going to get fed up with their cars and trade them in, regardless of make or model, and regardless of all the principles that we hold dear when it comes to our cars. Let’s face it: we’re rather guarded about our Cougars and T-Birds. On the rare occasions that something negative is said, we rush to defend our pride. Well, if someone has, say, a 1985 Cougar that’s got a badly rusted body, needs an engine overhaul, has a slipping transmission, is leaking several fluids, and the cost of repair is going to go several times over what the car is worth...the solution is seemingly obvious. And we can hardly defend against that.

Sometimes I feel that a SOTC commentary is like preaching to the choir, but in this instance I have to interject because I have received several e-mails already concerning the CARS program and our cars. There are already people in the quandry of figuring out what to do. This program just started, folks...it’s only going to get worse until November (or the money runs out, whichever comes first).

So I guess that, since I’m in sort of a position to do or say something profound, I probably should.

If you have a 1984-88 Cougar or Thunderbird that qualifies for the CARS program and you’re thinking about trading it in, please first consider a few things:

• Can your car be adequately fixed for under $3500?
• If not, is it halfway decent enough to be parted out or sold as a whole for parts?
• Is it possible that an enthusiast may be able to better repair your car, rather than trading it in?

If you can honestly answer “no” to all three of these questions, then chances are it may be a good idea to take advantage of the CARS program. But please consider the active Cougar/Thunderbird community before you make your decision. You may be surprised how valuable your car may be to others, whether as a whole or as parts. And I think you’d probably rather see the car go to someone that can use it in one fashion or another. That alone is worth the “recycling” effort.

The next step would be to join the message boards and post your ad. They are all absolutely, 100% free to join; all that’s required is a valid e-mail address for registration. The boards can be found here:

http://www.foxtbirdcougarforums.com
http://www.cougarnuts.com
http://www.natomessageboard.com (NOTE: for 4-cylinder turbo cars only)
http://vb.foureyedpride.com

Photos, or links to photos, are highly recommended. The more descriptive and honest that you are, the better the response that you’ll get.

Keep in mind that this is no guarantee that your car or parts will sell. However, you will be directly hitting your target audience, and aside from Craigslist or Kijiji or eBay, you probably won’t find a more widespread, dedicated fanbase for these cars.

I truly hope that you’re not in the position of considering the CARS program. But if you are, there is always help in our community. We wish you the best with your decision.

UPDATE: With Cash for Clunkers (CARS) now over in the United States, we'll see how the long-term effects of the program trickle down to our hobby. In the meantime, the same general principles of selling a used Cougar can still be followed using the information above.

Cheers.

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